whisk-ey:

If you want to call a family meeting just turn off the wifi router and wait in the room in which it is located.

awkwardvagina:

one time my friend asked me to make a playlist for a road trip because their car radio didnt work so i made one that consisted of 14 different versions of party in the usa and long story short im not trusted with bringing music anymore

221books:

catbountry:

myeyesarehazel:

Surprisingly, perfectionists are often procrastinators, as they can tend to think “I don’t have the right skills or resources to do this perfectly now, so I won’t do it at all.”

My entire educational experience summed up in one sentence.

My entire life summed up in one sentence. 

thinkiwannaharrylou:

you probably think oil companies are to blame for global warming

yeah cause they are

oh cry me a river

if i did you’d pollute it

YOU BLEEDING HEART LIBERAL

ESTABLISHMENT PUPPET

DO YOU WANNA KISS ME AS MUCH AS I WANNA KISS YOU RIGHT NOW

I’M SURPRISED SOMEONE AS SMART AS YOU WOULD HAVE tO ASK

AND THAT LADIES AND GENTS IS HOW SHARPAY EVANS AND TROY BOLTON KISSED

netlfix:

legend has it theres life outside the internet

janehayes:

if you ever feel awkward just remember that during my spanish oral a levels exam i walked up to the podium and did my introduction in french

permanentlyhiddlestoned:

phoenix:

sakibatch:

one day benedict cumberbatch and tom hiddleston are gonna win all of the oscars and theyre gonna be like “oh bless you but i cant take all of these here give them to the nominees yes bless you im so sorry”

And that was how Leonardo DiCaprio finally got an Oscar.

I just spit water all over my desk.

ernoticon:

marlin-the-fish:

ernoticon:

What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?

HAVE YOU SEEN MY SON

omfg

sherlockisthenight:

50-shades-of-thorin:

deppsex:

but why would you even give him the waterbed

he had scissors

for hands

scissors

I LOVE HOW THIS DOESN’T EVEN MENTION WHAT IT’S ABOUT BUT EVERYONE KNOWS.

who else has fucking scissors for hands